Been thinking a lot about my family back home a lot the last few weeks, everytime I call them and hear ‘Hello’, I hang up and break down, I can’t even hear there voices anymore, even if I want to hear it more than anything in the world, I want my aunt to ask me if I want to eat at hers, because she cooked too much, again. I want my grandma to ask me to help her clean her room again. I want my dad to roll his eyes at me and pretend he doesn’t care again. I want my cousin to make fun of me. I don’t want this life, I want my old boring horrible life back, back when alcohol and drugs made me cringe, because my dad always smelled like it.
School.
I go to school once a week, and I absolutely hate it, but I need a diploma so I have no choice..
I do want a good future, ya know, If I get one.
My alarm went off at 7:30, I got out by 8, showered, did my hair/makeup, got into a fight with my mentor…again. he truly hates me.
I wanted to buy a pack of cigarettes ( I dont smoke, even if I do drugs ) just because of the amount of stress on me, ugh. So I asked my classmate if I could get one off of him, he’s also a junkie, but when I inhaled the nicotine, I noticed he had something in it, I have no idea what tho, so fucking weird, im now typing this in my bed at 12:12am and I still have no idea, but I felt very light and wanted to just sleep, just what I did when I got home, pretty depressing, took my 4th pill that day and slepptt until I had to go fitness. Don’t know why Im writing this..
